The Horrors of Y2K
by Casey Jespon
© 1999

At the stroke of midnight January 1st,
year 2000 AD,
A seemingly harmless computer bug took the world by storm.
It was so horrible that a man in Kentucky died of natural causes.
The bug wreaked havoc on the nation's economy,
causing the stock market to go up. . . then down.
Uncountable people went bankrupt
from having to pay an 8.6% sales tax.
Car accidents reached an all-time high
when the light turned yellow before turning red.
Thousands of children were forced to frolic in their front yards
when snow fell to an unprecidented 5 inches.
No one was prepared for the terror
that struck society from within.
It was so powerful that an unexpected tornado
swept across Texas for 6 minutes,
and an average boy in Lubbington got a B- on his history exam.
Everywhere computers spurted messages like
"You've got mail!"
and fiendishly allowed their users
to play Starseige Tribes without many complications.
But Y2k wasn't all bad.
Somewhere in New York a man in a gym
bench pressed 130 lbs for the second time in his life;
and a woman in Belfast gave birth to an entire baby boy,
all because my PC thought it was 1900 AD.
But that didn't make up for cars dangerously crossing bridges,
fast food suddenly containing high amounts of cholesterol,
and junior high children being made fun of from time to time.
Y2K was the worst thing to hit this planet since unsliced bread.

Just so you know, I wrote this poem BEFORE the new year.

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