Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?(Lord of the Rings edition)


Sauron (in Numenor) - Great chickens take what is their right.

Farmer Maggot - To steal mushrooms.

Frodo - To show that the road goes forever on.

Sam - I'm coming Mr Chicken!

Pippin - It couldn't sleep and simply had to find out what was on the other side of the road!

Barliman Butterbur - Now I think I know the answer to this, but I may have forgotten it. What was the question again?

Bilbo - It knew less than half of the road half as well as it should like, and it liked less than half the road half as well as it deserved.

Gollum - Not a fair question! You cheated! And now we're going to squeeze the chicken, yes we will my preciouss....

Bombur - It was hungry

Gandalf - Deserved to cross the road? I daresay it did. Many chickens that live deserve to cross the road. And some chickens that cross the road deserve to live. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out roadcrossing in judgement. For even the very wise can not always see the other side of the road.

Radagast - Wait a second, I'll just go and ask the chicken.

Saruman - The chicken was a fool !! HAHAHAHA

The Balrog - Did the chicken have wings or just shadows that looked like wings?

Feanor - To escape the influence of the jealous Valar!

Mandos - Tears unnumbered the chicken shall shed, and the Valar will fence Valinor against it, and shut it out so that not even the echo of its lamentations will pass over to the other side of the road.

Galadriel - It passed the test. It will cross the road and remain a chicken.

Witch-king - Come not between a chicken and the road! For it will cross thee in thy turn and cover you with chicken poop!

Eowyn - But no living chicken was it!

Denethor - This side of the road has failed! The chicken crossed the road because it would not be a slave!

The Gaffer - I don't know, but it tasted nice with these taters.

Aldarion - Because neither the chicken's wife nor its father could restrain it from navigating the other side of the road.

Gildor - Do not meddle in the affairs of roads for they are dusty and trucks run you over.

Aragorn - It was a chicken son of another chicken, and if by life or death it could cross the road it would have.

Mim - Spare my life and I'll tell you the answer. In fact if you spare my life I'll give you an answer AND I'll let you move in with me. AND I'll throw in a free set of steak knives. You can't say fairer than that.

Eol - The chicken did not acknowledge the law of the road. The people who built the road had no right to bring roads to the land of the chicken!

Ar-Pharazon - To conquer the other side of the road and obtain immortality.

Beren - The chicken's future father-in-law had promised it his daughter in return for fetching some birdseed that was on the other side of the road.

Turin - It was doomed and it could not escape the road.

Thorondor - Why a chicken? Why not an Eagle? An Eagle can beat a chicken with both wings tied behind its back!

Faramir - Because Isildur's Bane was lying on the road and the chicken wished to demonstate that it would not use it even if the hen house was falling into ruin and it alone could save it.

Tom Bombadil - Oh you can't fool Bombadillo - that chicken was just old man willow!

Goldberry - Because it did.

Theoden - The chicken will cross the road. The chicken will cross the road when the road and all its traffic has perished!

Wormtongue - Don't send your poor loyal chicken across the road!

Barrow Wight - It was caught in some fog.

Ugluk - Ugluk told it to cross the road. So it did.

Fatty Bolger - No-one ever has any luck on the other side of the road. Chickens get lost over there. Chickens don't go over to the other side of the road.

The Fox - A chicken crossing the road? There's something mighty queer about this. But since I've just eaten the said chicken, it doesn't matter much.


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