Welcome to the

Completely
And Utterly

The only place to bake a fresh loaf of beef, and
Party like there's no yesterday.

Welcome to my new website. This website was created in 1999-ish as a place for me to display my poetry. Since then it has grown by a leap and bound, or two. It is now reorganized to make it easier to get around. Here you can learn about me, check out my writings & drawings, or laugh at the expense of Tolkien's Middle-earth. But be careful, the wrong door leads to CERTAIN DEATH! *cue scary music* Whatever you do, have fun!

POSTER OF THE WEEK:


Pics o' the Week gleaned from RPGnet forums and Television Without Pity forums.

You can contact me via e'mail at iexplodenow@yahoo.com
or at my LiveJournal, username darthgorbag.
Also check out my LJ community Pimping teh G33kage of teh Interwebs

My other website, The Lord of Pants.net, has been taken offline. But so as not to disappoint you all everybody [/pointless LOST reference], I'm putting the ENTIRE site up here! *trumpet sounds* Just click the big banner.

Updates: 3/06/08: Updated Anime list to Top 20. I see an otaku-ey pattern developing here.... 2/20/08: Reworked Anime list. 1/25/08: New feature: My ULTIMATE Morrowind Collection 12/01/07: Added a new Top Ten List: Anime girls! Also removed the Song Lyrics section. Thought it was wasting space. 10/22/07: Changed my Pic o' the Month system to a new Pic o' the week, system, to be updated weekly, with an awesome motivational poster. I've found too many of these cool things not to share. 09/28/07: It's always the last week of the month when I update, isn't it? Oh, and added pics from the Weird Al concert! 8/29/07: Updated a Top Ten List to Top 20 1/22/07: Added a new 2-D Top Ten List.

The Main Pages Poetry written by me, from high school and on. Songs written by me. What fun. Short Stories written by me. The good ones. CERTAIN DEATH Art that I have drawn and feel like sharing. Lyrics to songs, virtually every song I like. Dreams I've had while sleeping. Weird stuff. Weird. Links to websites that I feel are worth checking out. NEW & IMPROVED!!

Special Features Pictures of stuff that's interesting to me. The Coolist The difinitive list of everything that's cool. The Top Ten Lists of kissable people. (Now with pictures!) Some random fun stuff that I've collected. Good for a laugh. New! My Morrowind Collection a gathering of EVERY SINGLE THING from the epic video game.

Here is my esteemed tribute to Middle-earth in all its forms. In here you will find poetry, pants, art, parodies, pants, and more, all celebrating The Lord of the Rings et al. Or click here to read about my experiences with RingCon and the RenFaire.

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Or click here to see the fantastically fruity and partly elbow-shaped story of an aforementioned man.