Completely And Utterly
POSTER OF THE WEEK:
THE MAIN PAGES
Poetry written by me, from high school and on. SPECIAL FEATURES
THE LORD OF THE PANTS Movie parodies. Contains pants, and lack thereof.
The only place to bake a fresh loaf of beef, and
Party like there's no yesterday.
Welcome to my new website. This website was created in 1999-ish as a place for me to display my poetry. Since then it has grown by a leap and bound, or two. It is now reorganized to make it easier to get around. Here you can learn about me, check out my writings & drawings, or laugh at the expense of Tolkien's Middle-earth. But be careful, the wrong door leads to CERTAIN DEATH! *cue scary music* Whatever you do, have fun!
NEWEST UPDATE! (11/2/2014)
Back in April 2014, due to illness, I stopped updating this site entirely. As of November, I'm finally getting back to it. I will try to update the Poster of the Week every week from now on if I can. I have marked other sections that are due for an update (or a TOTAL revision in some cases), but time will tell what will get done.
Songs written by me. What fun.
Short Stories written by me. The good ones.
CERTAIN DEATH
Art that I have drawn and feel like sharing.
Dreams I've had while sleeping. Weird stuff. Weird.
Links to websites 
that I feel are worth checking out.
Pictures of stuff that's interesting to me.
The Coolist The definitive list (not really) of everything that I find cool.
The Top Ten Lists of kissable people. (Now with pictures!)
Some random fun stuffthat I've collected. Good for a laugh.
My Morrowind Collection an epic gathering of EVERY SINGLE THING from the epic video game.
Here is my esteemed tribute to Middle-earth in all its forms. In here you will find poetry, pants, art, parodies, pants, and more, all celebrating The Lord of the Rings et al.
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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View My Guestbook
Or click here 
to see the fantastically fruity and partly elbow-shaped story of an aforementioned man (also the inspiration for the title of this website).