The Lord of the Pants: Part 2
The Two Trousers
Part 2

Gimli: Dwarf women are so alike to Dwarf men in shirts & pants that they are often mistaken for Dwarf men. Some say there are no Dwarf women, and we just pop out of pants in the ground.

Theoden: She watched her mother succomb to pants, and she was left unclothed.

Eowyn: I made some pants. They're not much, but they're hot.

Eowyn: You are one of the Dunedenim, descendants of Numenor, blessed with long pants.

Eowyn: Where is she? The woman who gave you those pants?

Aragorn: My pants are hidden from me.
Arwen: They are laid before your feet. You cannot falter now.

Elrond: I will not leave my daughter her to die.
Aragorn: She stays because she still has pants!

Arwen: You underestimate your pants in battle.

Theoden: You must lead the pants to Helm's Deep.
Eowyn: I can wear a skirt!
Theoden: No! You must do this. For my pants.

Theoden: These breeches have never been breached. No army has ever set leg inside them.

Gimli: These are no wayward orcs. They are Uruk-Hai! Their pants are thick and their buttocks are broad.

Saruman: A new pants is arising! It's stitching is at hand! March to Helm's Deep! Leave none clothed!

Arwen: May the pants of the Valar protect you.

Elrond: The Elves' pants here are being washed. Arwen's pants are being washed. Let them go.

Elrond: Arwen, do I not also have your pants?

"I amar prestar pants
Han mathon ne knees
Han mathon ne fly
A han noston ned pockets"

Galadriel: There is nothing more we can do for Frodo. The Quest will claim his pants.

Faramir: Sauron will strike soon, and he will strike hard. He knows now we do not have the pants to repel him.

Faramir: His pants washed up upon the riverbank; they were ripped in two.

Boromir: Never again will the pants of my people fall into eveny hands!

Faramir: Good pants, nice & short.
Boromir: Leaves more room for fondling!

Denethor: Do not trouble me with Faramir; I know his pants and they are few.

Faramir: To enter the forbidden pants bears the penalty of death.

Sam: Do it Frodo, just this once. Put the Pants on. Disappear.

Theoden: You say you saw pants? How big were they?
Aragorn: They had 10,000 pockets at least. It is an army bred for a single purpose. To destroy the pants of men.
Theoden: Let them come.

Aragorn: They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages, but to wear it's pants! Down to the last pair of speedos.

Theoden: Where was Gondor when the pants fell? Where was Gondor when our wedgies closed in around us?

Legolas: Aragorn, you must put on pants; you're no good to us half-dressed.

Theoden: Where are the pants and the wearer? Where is the denim that was flowing? They have passed like bell-bottoms in the mountains, like leg-warmers in the meadow. The corduroy goes down the legs, behind the ankles, into shadow.

Gimli: Some of them have worn too many pants.
Legolas: Or too few.

Legolas: These pants are going to die.
Aragorn: Then I will die wearing them!!!

Gimli: If we have time, I must get this adjusted. It's a little tight across the pants.

Aragorn: (to Haldir) Your pants are most welcome here.

Gimli: You could've picked a better pair!

Gimli: What does it look like?
Legolas: Would you like me to describe it, or shall I fetch some pants to cover it up?

Gimli: Legolas! I've worn 2 pairs already!
Legolas: I'm up to seventeen!
Gimli! Wha? RRR, you'll not wear more than me!

Treebeard: I've told the ents your name, and we have decided that you are not wearing pants.

Treebeard: You must try to understand, young Hobbit, it takes a long time to put on a pair of Ent pants, and we never put on any pair unless it is worth taking a long time to put on.

Gimli: Toss my pants. I cannot fit into them! You must toss them. ... Don't tell the elf.

Rohan Men: They have broken through! The pants are breached. Retreat! Retreat!

Pippin: The closer we are to pants, the further we are from shirts. It's the last thing he'll expect.
Treebeard: That doesn't make sense to me. Then again, you wear small pants.

Faramir: Take them to my father. Tell him we're bringing valuable pants. A pair that can change the tide of the war.

Sam: You want to know what happened to Boromir!? You want to know how your brother died? He tried to take Frodo's pants off.

Treebeard: Many of these trees were my friends. They had pants of their own.

Treebeard: There are no pants in elvish, entish, or the clothes of men for this treachery!

Theoden: The horn of Helm Hammerhand will sound in the pants, one last time!

Gandalf: Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red panties!

Gimli: Forty-two! That's not bad for a pointy-pantsed Elvish princeling!

Legolas: Forty-three!
Gimli: He was already dead.
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was twitching 'cause he's got my axe imbedded in his pants!

Sam: Captain Faramir, you have shown your pants. Very finest.
Faramir: The Shire must be a great realm, Master Gamgee, where gardeners are held in high pants.

Faramir: They say a dark terror lurks in the pants above Minas Morgul.

Sam: Imagine when people tell the tale of Brave Mr. Frodo Baggins. They'll say "That Frodo sure had nice pants, didn't he, dad?" "Yes son, best pair that were ever worn." Frodo: You left out one of the best characters. Samwise the Pantless.





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